Snow days were always the best when we were kids. No School. No Homework. No Teachers.
And if it was a real snow day - where the snow kept-a-comin' in big flakes and medium flakes and little flakes too - snow fun abounded.
Especially if the conditions were right - snow men...snow balls..snow forts...sledding etc...
My friend Steve, who lived across from me, we would build snow barricades in the middle of the street to block cars from driving down it...but also dared them to try and crash through our impenetrable snowy wall (little did they know we enjoyed watching metal tear through packed snow with tires crunching the boulders we rolled...that's what you call a win win baby).
Basically I've grown up around snow my whole life - I'm a Midwesterner through and through - So here's my guide to snow:
White & Light & Slow Falling
Pros: Great to walk in, think about life, and sip hot-chocolate. Also good for a romantic walk. Easy to shovel. Can eat if fresh. If enough accumulation - great for sledding.
Cons: Bad packing snow which = no snow balls, forts etc... :( Bummer.
White & Light & Windy
Pros: Blizzards are cool :-) Sledding in blizzards are even cooler (PUN intended...hah!)
Cons: Low Visibility = Car crashes. Could lose a child if you go somewhere outside.
White & Heavy
Pros: Packing Snow! Build forts. Snow ball fights. Snow men. Snow Barricades. Chance of school closing. Aliright for sledding. Can eat if fresh - more moisture in each bite. Alright!
Cons: Clothes get wet fast, gloves especially. Hard to shovel. Often turns to ice-snow which leads to more moto crashes.
Yellow & Wet (Probably a dog pee'd here)
Pros: Can use to throw at enemey...be sure to have protective layer of white snow around it before packing into snow ball.
Cons: Tastes horrible. Can get you made fun of if you think somone dropped Mountain Dew and you dive right in...
Grey to Black & Wet or Frozen
Pros: Makes the white snow so much whiter.
Cons: Contains cancerous agents...eat at own risk. Detracts from beautiful snowy scenary. Stays around for a looong time.
Stained different colors & Wet to Frozen
Red - Probably blood. Check for bodies, objects that look like weapons. If any found, call 911.
Brown - If shaped like a turd, its probably a frozen turd, or melting. No treasure here. Move On.
Green - Could be a leaf, pine needles, a fern etc... If it is an emerald, pick it up. Could also be dog vomit.
Blue - Probably some spit out Powerade or Gaterade, taste to make sure. If not, probably windshield wiper fluid.
Purple - Take as much as possible!!! Put it in your pockets, your pants, your shirt. Consider yourself lucky - this is the stuff dreams are made of...literally. Eat before you go to bed.
Sweet Dreams,
David J Ruess
